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Monthly Archives: December 2006
>This is New Zealand three
>A English actor was quoted in the 1960s as saying “I once visited New Zealand, but it was closed”. I know how he feels. Just after Xmas, there’s a huge sucking noise and a version of musical chairs for 4 … Continue reading
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>One of those foreign ones…….
>I went looking for haloumi cheese in Push’n’Shove in Richmond today. The guy who appeared to be in charge reckoned that “the closest they had was havarti”. Alphabetically, I guess. “It’s probably one of those foreign ones”, he said. Yeah … Continue reading
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>How to …….be stupid
>Awa Press in New Zealand publishes the ultimate in DIY instructions in its “Ginger” series. For example:How to catch a cricket matchHow to gaze at the southern starsHow to drink a glass of wineHow to listen to pop music(My favourite, … Continue reading
>Wet T-shirt contest
>My mate Houghton has had a 3-Series BMW under wraps for years. I’m not sure if he’s waiting for it to become rare and cash in or just hoping that it will decompose into a residue of mag wheels, spoilers … Continue reading
>Extinct species rediscovered
>Homo sapiens walkshortsii, a species thought to have become extinct towards the end of the last millenium, has been sighted in a remote area of New Zealand. It appears closely related to Homo sapiens waitingforthewifeii, commonly found in the north … Continue reading
>This is New Zealand, too
>Small-town New Zealand, actually. And Tasman doesn’t even qualify as a town. It’s more of a cluster of houses, with a school that covers Year 1 through 8, a winery and Steve Fullmer’s pottery. They used to have a store, … Continue reading
>And a Merry Christmas to you, too…..
> It must have been the Korean scallops. Or oysters.
>…twice shy.
> Gloves might have been a good idea?
>All rules must be obeyed
>You think Germany has rules? You have to go to the strawberry farm on the Upper Moutere highway for rules. Pedestrian clearway. No parking. No Eftpos. Report to shop before picking. Angle parking only. Return strawberry clippers. Do not pick … Continue reading
>Navigationally challenged
>This syndrome is also know as “Looking Over Strange Terrain” The map said “Turn right off the Moutere Highway and do a right onto Old Coach Road.” I know Old Coach Road. It’s sealed. And down she went…… And up … Continue reading
You Must Be From Away 
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