You Must Be From Away

Not that we live in a high crime area…..

Posted on 23 August, 2021 by jb

…but I’m not taking any chances.

Let’s see the buggers stroll off with my MacBook Air….

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Depends what you mean by dense…

Posted on 22 August, 2021 by jb

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April Fool’s. In August?

Posted on 17 August, 2021 by jb

This is the German phonetic alphabet.

It’s no good. No longer fit for purpose.

Has to be changed, because it still reflects the anti-Semitic changes made in 1934 – “David” became “Dora”, “Nathan” became “Nordpol”.

There’s also a gender imbalance and a severe lack of ethnic and religious group representation.

“Doesn’t correspond to today’s reality of life”

So the Deutsche Institute für Normung – the folks who bring you DIN A4 size paper and DIN 931 hexagon bolts – is looking at replacing it all with city names, making sure that they’re equally spread between to eastern and western states.

Except that Saarland, Rheinland-Pfalz (us..) Bremen, Hamburg and Sachsen-Anhalt don’t get a look in.

Fuck. Them.

Posted in Bastards, Bloody Germans, Bloody hell | Comments Off

And the advice is ….

Posted on 19 July, 2021 by jb

…that there *is* no advice….

Posted in Brain farts, Crikey I thought, Fools I have met, WTF | Comments Off

“Now, you’re SURE you’ve got nothing metal in your pockets…?

Posted on 19 July, 2021 by jb

“No, but you might want to take my wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee……..”

Posted in I'm very sorry about this | Comments Off

Happy birthday, Brian May!

Posted on 19 July, 2021 by jb

Brian May, Eddie van Halen, Alan Gratzer (REO Speedwagon), Phil Chen, Fred Mandel (sessionista), Roger Taylor(Queen).

But if you really want to enjoy yourselves, have a listen to the full recording from the beginning.

Group of high class musicians noodling around until all the instruments are (sort of) lined up and WHAM, the power chord…

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If anyone’s wondering what the flooding looks like in Germany….

Posted on 16 July, 2021 by jb

This is Schuld, population of around 750 and about 90 minutes drive north from here.

Before.

After.

At some stage, Ahr river made an oxbow, the sediment solidified and over the last 1000 years folks built on it.

Precipitation of 200ml in less than 24 hours.

The river a bit further downstream went from under 1 metre to somewhere north of 6 metres. That’s when the level measuring device either lost power or was washed away.

And the river reverted to its old route through the village and washed away 6 houses.

Disappeared.

No trace.

Plus damage to every other property.

And this is just ONE village.

Over 100 dead and over 1000 missing, although we’re hoping that they’ll just be “uncontactable” with power out and cell towers down over the whole region.

We tried to deliver clothing and crockery to the local fire station for the 40′ truck they’d hired to get stuff to the thousands of people who have lost absolutely everything.

Full.

Next fire station.

Full.

Try again tomorrow.

Posted in Bloody hell, True stories | Comments Off