>Shit, this is… a good picture.

Posted on 1 November, 2008 by jb

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The Lowry, Salford Quays, Manchetser

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>I have to stop doing this…

Posted on 31 October, 2008 by jb

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Discovered a cool little bakery in Frankfurt the other day.

It’s in one of those streets that’s a compressed village – restaurants, butcher, baker, art galleries, clothes shops, VINYL RECORD STORE (YES!), florist, green grocer.

And didn’t the bread look yummy.

“What’s that loaf?” asks Mrs jb

“Oh, that’s got something and something and something and apple sauce” says the girl.

“I’ll have one” says Mrs jb.

“But without the apple sauce, please” I venture.

I got a look as if I was trying to explain quantum mechanics by farting musically.

“Das geht nicht” she says.

The look reminded me of the mindless gaze of a Jersey heifer.

All she’d needed to do was chew the cud and the picture would have been perfect.

“Just ignore him” sez Mrs jb “Could I perhaps have just half a loaf?”

“Das geht nicht” she says. (Has she got a stutter. or what….?)

“Yeah, that’s because the apple sauce would run out. Obvious” I said.

That look again.

I could have sworn she went “Mooooo”

But you’re right.

I have to stop doing this.

I’ll have the RSPCA on me if I’m not careful…..

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>The Doddery Chronicles #1

Posted on 30 October, 2008 by jb

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I met Simon Lindsay two years ago today.

He was a road worker on State Highway 3 in New Zealand who wrote one of the best blogs – RestArea300 – I’ve read.

In the blogosphere, he was Doddery Old Fart. He died suddenly in May last year.

His blog’s offline now, but there are some pure gems tucked away in there.

If the family’s cool about it, I wouldn’t mind posting them here on occasion.

Like this one…

17 May 2007

Approved

I find body painting rather boring.



But this has a bit of class.


When it comes to painting, I’m one of those people that ends up getting semi coated.


I use more paint when we are painting barriers than all the rest of the crew put together.


Never mind.


One day they will exhibit my overalls from my early impressionist period.


Don’t think I’ll saw an ear off however.


Toenail clippings, maybe …

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>Short and sweet

Posted on 30 October, 2008 by jb

>Mapua Volunteer Fire Brigade

August-September call-outs

Sept 14: SH60 Tasman – Car v pole

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>Don’t ask me….(about Murakami)

Posted on 29 October, 2008 by jb

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The Museum for Modern Art (MMK in German) in Frankfurt is always good for a surprise.
Letting pensioners in for half price, for one.
(Now, THAT doesn’t happen very often either.)
Or removing every single permanent exhibit and dedicating the entire space to Murakami.
It’s sort of like Andy Warhol meets Hello Kitty.
On a cocktail that Hunter Thompson would have been proud of.
Something like “two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a salt shaker half full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers and also a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of Budweiser, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls“
At first glance, it’s just crass pop art, but then you think you start seeing deeper meanings –  things like a stylised Hokusai wave and silken triptych screens
 
 
And then you stumble across the title image and KNOW you’re trying to be smart and it really IS only cheap pop art.
Until you go into a huge space covered with his Louis Vuitton patterns in decreasing sizes – the smaller the image, the more the pattern morphs into a massive oriental woven pattern.
This I know to be true.
It looks just like my bathrobe.
And I bought THAT in Tokyo, so it MUST be authentic…
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>This I need – an ADD t-shirt

Posted on 29 October, 2008 by jb

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I keep meaning to buy one of these, but I somehow never get around to it……

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>Don’t ask me…(about the finance crisis)

Posted on 26 October, 2008 by jb

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I once worked for a guy called Gert-Dieter Wolle.
Frank Schümann and I christened him “The Twins”.

He’d say things like “I think we should do this” or “We should do that” and it didn’t take a BFO to realise that HE wasn’t going to be doing it – Frank and I were going to get lumbered with whatever it was.

At some stage, Frank asked “What’s all this crap about ‘WE?’. Is he schizophrenic or something?”

“Nah” I said “He’s obviously twins in a single persona – Gert and Dieter”

So it was like

“The Twins want to see us. 2 o’clock. Looks like WE’VE got a new task”

“OK, Twins at Two it is”

And the name stuck.

Everyone knew.

Except him.

In fact, at some hoolie (I think it was his 40th birthday) he said:

“You now, over all these years I’ve NEVER had a nickname . Not at school – are you alright, Herr Schümann? Did something go down the wrong way? – not at university, not here – Herr Burland, is something the matter, your eyes are watering, why are you holding your stomach? – at Lufthansa. Nope, never had a nickname”

But what struck me the other day was how clued up the guy is.

It was at LEAST 10 years ago (and probably closer to 15) and we were chewing the fat about revenue management and pricing theory (that’s what we were working on at the time) and he said

“You know, this currency trading and suchlike has an unhealthy feel about it. These people who are trading on margins don’t actually create any value – they’re just skimming the cream off the milk. Piranhas, if you ask me. I can’t see how it’s sustainable”

Truer words have rarely been spoken.

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>Don’t ask me… (about George W)

Posted on 25 October, 2008 by jb

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I know it’s not right to kick a bugger when he’s down, but isn’t George W a prick?

Seriously.

I used to REALLY ENJOY going to the States and handcarrying a couple of 6 packs of microbrewery beer back home.

George W and the TSA put the clappers on that.

It’s a Blinding Flash of the Obvious by now that you can’t cook up liquid explosives in an aircraft dunny, but they STILL haven’t caught on.

And I STILL have to stuff bottles into socks (and then shoes) in my suitcase.

Doesn’t do a lot to improve the flavour…..

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>Shit, this is… a good picture.

Posted on 25 October, 2008 by jb

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First photographed this image in 1980 (Nikon FE, Kodachrome 64)

The Huntly power station provides the chimneys in the distance behind the art deco house on the main drag.

2006, Nikon S3, 8 megapixels

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>Only in Nelson

Posted on 23 October, 2008 by jb

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Spoke with our neighbour in Mapua the other day and mentioned that the topographic surveyors would be wandering around taking measurements and generally doing what surveyors do.

“So I shouldn’t shoot them, then?” she asked……

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