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The owners of the place we’re renting down here in the Provence asked me to translate their house rules into English. Worked out quite well. Especially proud of this one, though:
“Please don’t piscine the piscine”
Was buying a bottle of wine at one of local places when the girl said “Désolé Monsieur, I can’t take this item here, but the girl over there will be pleased to help – she’s our Petula clerk….
… when the local vintners’ coöperative will fill your canister (“Nothing smaller than 3 litres, thanks”) with a vin ordinaire rouge for €1.60 a litre from a gas pump type dispenser. And also sell you a top of the line red for €22.
…when the waitress says “I’m very sorry, but we’re not prepared to serve that cut well done. That would be a travesty. We’ll do it medium-well, OK?”