Someone sets off a firecracker a bit too close to the neighbour’s dog, neighbour gets shirty, words are exchanged, angry silence ensues with a lot of behind-the-hand muttering until some young hothead gets the wrong end of the stick, decides to take matters into his own hands and – being a distinctly bad aim – pops off the wife of the head of the neighbouring clan by mistake.
Not a good move.
This is not the Hatfields and McCoys. This is the Pelle-Romeos and the Nirta-Strangios in Calabria.
Hothead – never the sharpest knife in the drawer – sees the error of his ways and decides to skedaddle to a quieter location until things die down a bit and aforementioned HOTNC gets over it.
Being a bit of a lad, Hothead decides to engage in a touch of weapons smuggling and cocaine dealing to pass the time, unfortunately attracting the attention of the far-flung mates of HOTNC.
Not good news for Hothead, who’s out celebrating his birthday with 5 of his mates.
Not good news for his 5 mates,either.
They end up as collateral damage on a street in the middle of Duisburg one night last week.
That’s the official story.
I think it was mass suicide.
I reckon they’d been out celebrating, got into the car and one of them says “Let’s listen to this CD of Italian songs that the wife got free with a women’s magazine.”
20 seconds into the first track, they’re out of the car, weapons drawn and taking the easy way out.
Don’t believe me? Just have a listen.
Piove – Dolcenera
Passione – Marshall & Alexander
Novalis – Edoardo De Angelis & Angelo Branduardi
Non E – Godo
Il Piu Grande Sogno – Al Bano Carrisi
Fiumi Di Parole – Jalisse
Caruso – Appassionante
Buona Sera Signorina – Al Bano Carrisi
It’s truly awful.
The only reason I’m still here is the lack of appropriate weaponry…..
Disclaimer: The author is not responsible for any consequential physical or mental damage as a result of his providing the aforementioned music (although that’s debatable) for public consumption.

