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Luzie looks as if butter – or in this case, beetroot – wouldn’t melt in her mouth.

Don’t bet on it.

Granny’s birthday today and Grandad’s boss popped in for a cup of coffee.

Everyone’s chatting away, kids are behaving tolerably and then there’s one of those momentary hushes during which Luzie pipes up with:


“He‘s got a big stomach“

Which is true. Looks as if he’s swallowed a cannonball.

Gran goes “Gulp”, Mum goes the colour of Luzie’s tongue, Grandad looks as if a barrowload of bricks has landed on his head and someone rapidly goes into retrieval mode with:


“Grandad’s got a big stomach, too”

“Yes, but his is BIGGER….”

Oh dear……