>I have this mate…


who’s a really good guy, but he’s a bit…weird.

He showed me his home-made burglar alarm the other day.

It’s a motion detector in the hallway that triggers a webcam that’s on his WLAN which takes a picture of the intruders and runs a script that sends it to his cellphone.

Now, deep down I’m a techie, but this is silly.

I asked him about the alarm.

“Well” he said “I’m going to record a message in French and German – seeing that we’re close to the Luxembourg border – saying that they’ve been nabbed.”

I ventured that a 150dB siren might do the trick, but he wasn’t convinced.

And why the photograph to the cellphone?

“Well, in case we get murdered in our beds. Then they’ll know who did it” he said. In all seriousness.

His father-in-law told me this one.

Even if they don’t get murdered in their beds, there’s a constant risk of conflagration, so he organises a fire drill.

Puts a ladder up to the 2nd floor and everyone has to go to bed and pretend to be asleep.

In the middle of the day.

Then in runs Dad, yelling “Fire! Fire! This way” and leads them down the ladder to safety.

Mum, 6 year old Lucy and 3 year old Kalle.

Who said – when his Dad got the ladder out of the garage a couple of days later to do some pruning – “Oh no. Not AGAIN…..?!”

I assume that he’s expecting the local fire brigade to provide the ladder in an emergency, because leaving it propped up against the house just in case would REALLY be an invitation to get murdered in your beds.

And there’d be no photo, either…..

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