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My Saab 9.3 is 11 years old, has going on for a quarter of million kilometres on the clock and is worth sod all and threepence.

It looks like new. Inside and out.

All our cars look new. Always have. Always will.

The exception is the tractor (1957 Fergusson FE35), but that’s a project.

Given that it’s worth sod all and threepence, I’ve given up giving the local Saab dealers close to $100 an hour to work on it.

I’ve got Roland.

Roland was recommended by a junk yard/repair shop/very dodgy outfit. who couldn’t fix an airconditioning problem.

Neither could Roland at first (it was so obscure that even Saab was stumped), but he reckoned that if he couldn’t fix it, he couldn’t charge me for 2 hours of work and flushing the airconditioning.

So he gets all the work on both Saabs

Which is mostly just an annual service.

Plus fixing the SID display when it loses pixels “Didn’t take long, not worth writing a bill” or fixing the ABS module “You did the research, give me 30 minutes labour” or fixing the airconditioning control unit “New costs €150 from Saab, but I know this guy with a wrecked Saab 9.3, you can get it for €20”

Yesterday beats it all, though.

Grinding noise from the engine compartment a couple of weeks back.
Not a function of engine speed = not the engine ingesting itself.
Not a function of road speed = not the suspension
Not the exhaust (despite what the wimmen said)
Acrid smell.

Not good.

I thought maybe the airconditiong – compressor, maybe.
THAT went in Year 3, Saab picked up most of the (€800…) bill and the grinding sounded familiar.

So we went under the car and Roland’s saying “There’s a whistling noise when I turn on the a/c, can you hear it?”

I’m old. I can maybe hear frequencies between 5000 and 12,000Hz, so no, I can’t hear it.

“I think you’re right though” he says” I think it’s the compressor bearing” and goes straight into “but-what-we-can-do” mode, which involves routing the drivebelt away from the compressor (which means no aircon, but who cares?) and putting in a tensioner and it’ll be as cheap as chips.

So I zip over on the bike yesterday to pick up the car.

“Bit of a problem” he says ” I was maneuvering the car and didn’t pull the handbrake on far enough and it rolled back and dinged the rear bumper. I’ve polished it out, but you can still see a mark. Have a look and if you’re not happy, I’ll respray it for you”

Go out and have a look. It’s THERE but barely discernible.

Go back in and say “Well, we can let Mrs jb drive it for a week and then ask her where the ding came from…where’s the bill?”

“There isn’t one” he says “I’m just happy you’re cool with it – we’re quits”

The usual argument “but you bought some spares…” “well yeah, but only a drive belt” “how about the labour?” “really easy job. LOOK, I don’t WANT anything”

What on earth do you do with a guy like this?

Apart from treasure him