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I’m nothing if not a dedicated follower of fashion.

I’m in there right at the start of the season, buying my annual cashmere sweater, having already covered my other requirements (2 new pairs of denims and a pair of boots – every 10 years for the boots – from R.M. Williams and various t-shirts from art museums, rock musicians or ThinkGeek) early on.

So all I see in P&C in Mainz are v-necks in purple and brown.

Ask when they figure on getting round-necked cashmeres in colours that a bloke can wear.

“Well” he says “We’ll be getting new stock on Tuesday, so they’ll definitely be among those if the head office thinks we need them, so they’ll probably be there. Maybe.”

“Fine” I say “So there’s a fair chance that they might possibly be definitely there on Tuesday?”

“Absolutely” he says.

Look around for Mrs jb who has rescued herself to a safe distance and is telling a salesgirl that they should perhaps call security and eject the old fart for the use of overly sarcastic language whilst trying to buy a cashmere sweater ….