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Qantas’s apocryphal fan mail from the 1980s or Lufthansa apocryphal amenity kit fan mail
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You Must Be From Away 
>The second one is an absolute disgrace, an insult to children.The first one, well, how can I put it? I'm always very wary of people who pull the emotional string a bit too far. It slings back in their face.
>Nicola has a way with words!