My bank here in Germany (Mainzer Volksbank) is really quite good.

They don’t send me emails, offering me private banking  (in the mistaken belief that I have money, when it’s a WELL KNOWN FACT that Ms jb immediately recycles it into the economy as soon as any turns up…) along with 15 other people. All in the address line. Never having heard of bcc.

That would be the Nelson branch of the National Bank in New Zealand.

They don’t suspend my credit card while they issue a new one

That would be National Bank in New Zealand.

But the outfit here’s moving in the same direction.
Quite rapidly, in fact.

They have a coin-counting machine in one of their branches.

Put your debit card in the slot, identifies your account number, a hole opens in the lid, pour in all the 1,2,5,10,20,50 cent coins that you’ve been collecting in a jar and – churnchurnchurn – money gets counted, account gets credited, end of story.

Not last week.

Queue at the machine, dimwit cashier trying to help by telling people “No, it’s not the MACHINE, it’s your CARD, you’ll have to get a NEW one”.

My turn.

It’s obvious that the card reader’s broken or the software’s in a loop, because I’ve just drawn some folding stuff from the ATM.

Dimwit cashier inspects my card closely and determines that the 5mm laminate separation on the corner of the card is the culprit.

“SEE” he says “Your CARD’S damaged, that’s why the machine can’t READ it”

“Fuckwit” is on the tip of my tongue, but I tone it down to “cretin”

Take card, point out that the magnetic strip and chip are MILES away from the offending corner and that it’s statistically HIGHLY UNLIKELY that 5 people with munted cards would ALL turn up at the SAME TIME at the SAME BLOODY BRANCH, ALL wanting to use the sodding coin-counter.

“No, no” he says ” It happens all the time. We just switch the machine off to remove the damaged cards from its memory and when we switch it back on, it works….”

I kid you not.