“How old are you, mom?”

“You’re not supposed to ask a lady her age. It’s not polite”

“So what do you weigh?”

“These are really personal questions. Lay off”

“So why did you and Dad get divorced”

“That’s NONE of your business”

Kid tell her girlfriend, girlfriend says “Oh, just look at her drivers licence. It’s all there. It’s sort of like a report card”

Later

“So. I know how old you are. You’re 32. And you weigh 130lbs. And I know why you and Dad got divorced” –

“Oh yeah? Why?”

“Because you got an “F” in sex…”