Author Archives: jb

> To the tune of “You are my sunshine” You are my piss potMy only piss potMy bladder’s happyWhen you are nearI never knew justHow much I need youSo please don’t takeMy piss pot away They did anyway.

> Father's Day in Germany is celebrated on Ascension Day (which this year happens to coincide with May Day) It traditionally involves copious amounts of alcohol, revelry and hoonish behaviour, starting early in the morning and continuing until everyone falls … Continue reading →

> There used to be a schonky program on German TV called "Rivals of the Racetrack" about family feuding between a bunch of horsey upper class toffs in northern Germany. This is my rival of the racetrack here (the corridor … Continue reading →

> When your Mum's a nurse, you're up Shit Creek if you try to throw a sickie. "Sick? You're not sick! The folks on Ward 5b are sick. Now get up and get off to school…" This is Semra, pretty … Continue reading →

> What a cracker of a sky today. Google 'Magritte' and you'll see what I mean

> They put something in the water to keep you quiet. I'm pretty sure of it. Either that, or the pills. Most of the time you drift along in a semi-painfree state (which I figure beats the other option), but … Continue reading →

> "You have to be a bit of a sadist in this line of work" she said This is Annika, the physiotherapist. You wouldn't suspect that under this gentle and attractive exterior lurks the soul of the Marquis de Sade. … Continue reading →

> This is a very useful device.You can hang on to it and drag yourself around in bed.They can hang transfusions and drips and stuff off it.And you can use it quite effectively to confuse the wardens.Wait until you hear … Continue reading →

> The wardens come around daily to make sure we haven’t absconded. Dr Koshewa who – being quite handy with hacksaws, hammers, screwdrivers, routers and similar kit – checks to make sure that Leg 2.0 hasn’t fallen off yet and … Continue reading →