Category Archives: Cousin Dave strikes again

The Gospel according to Saint Dave

Posted on 19 July, 2022 by jb

And it came to pass in the Year of Our Lord 1947 that a child of the female variety was born to John Francis Burland and his wife Margaret Valda née Clough in the hamlet of Horsforth in the County … Continue reading →

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This is how the cuzzies talk….

Posted on 28 June, 2014 by jb
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Cousin Dave strikes again…with another Irish joke

Posted on 9 June, 2014 by jb

Paddy was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet. “I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you should … Continue reading →

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Blame it on the bookie.

Posted on 2 February, 2014 by jb

Cousin Dave strikes again with a VERY obscure one… I had a bet on three horses today called Sunshine, Moonlight and Good Times.   Not one of them won.   I blame it on the bookie. Here’s a hint for … Continue reading →

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This is not a music collection…..

Posted on 9 January, 2014 by jb

  Years ago, I flew to Miami on Lauda Air* next to a guy called Fritz Egner who had a TV program on the national networks. (Called “Dingsda” – Thingamabob and  they got really young kids to explain a word … Continue reading →

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Job Application

Posted on 11 December, 2013 by jb

BUNNINGS [US equivalet: Home Depot] JOB APPLICATION This is an actual job application that a 75-year-old pensioner submitted to Bunnings Hardware in Burleigh Heads. They hired him because he was so funny…. NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy Bastard) SEX: Not lately, … Continue reading →

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Ever had your pick nicked?

Posted on 19 November, 2013 by jb

A teddy bear is working on a building site. He goes for his tea break and when he returns,he notices his pick has been stolen. The bear goes ballistic and reports the theft to the foreman. The foreman grins ” … Continue reading →

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Cousin Dave strikes again – the next in a series of n

Posted on 29 October, 2013 by jb

After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her. He looked at her for a while … then said, “You’re A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K.” She asks … “What … Continue reading →

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Cousin Dave strikes again…

Posted on 21 September, 2013 by jb

The following are all replies that Manchester women have written on Child Support Agency forms in the section for listing “father’s details” 1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, Makeeshia was fathered by Maclearndon McKinley I am … Continue reading →

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No Irishmen here, I hope….?

Posted on 20 June, 2013 by jb

  Two Irishmen were waiting at the bus stop when a truck went past loaded up with rolls of turf. Jimmy said, “I’m gonna do dat when I win da lottery.” “What’s dat den?” asks Mikey. “Send me lawn away … Continue reading →

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