>I’m very sorry about this….

>

 

I used to have neighbours whose name – in German – was that of a tined eating implement.

A large wooden one even decorated a wall of their house.

The bloke is now living by himself.

His wife appears to have forked off….

Posted in I'm very sorry about this | Leave a comment

>If you’re ever in Aix en Provence….

>

…take a painting lesson from the stunningly talented Catherine Moullé. She’s quite phenomenal. Her New Year card as an example.
First met her in Menerbes in the Provence in 2003 at an open air art fair, was utterly taken by this and other work, got talking to her – actually, she suggested that I BUY the picture instead of just photographing it (which I did) – and we’ve been friends ever since.
Just the thing to shake off the winter blues.
And I can recommend “Charlotte“, an excellently funky restaurant, too.
Which is where we go for lunch.
And if the locals (especially someone with Catherine’s exquisite taste) eat there, just how bad can it be?
Posted in Art | Tagged | Leave a comment

>Pavlovian

>

I have a Pavlovian reaction to aircraft seats.
As soon as I sit down in one, I fall asleep.
It goes back to the mid-90s, when I was flying 120,000 miles a year on business in a constant jet-lagged daze.
See food – eat it.
See a bed or aircraft seat – sleep in it

So Loop 5, a new shopping mall, is just the place for me.

They’ve got a Mig21 suspended from the roof and pictures of Comet 4s.

And they’ve got Abandoned Husband zones with aircraft seats.

I’ve probably sat in most of them, come to think of it – standard Lufthansa 3-3 narrow body configuration, and if it’s Business Class, you fold down the cushion of the middle seat and you’ve got 2-2.

And the magic still works.

Sat down.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz……

Posted in Don't ask me | 4 Comments

>They wouldn’t. Would they?

>

apple-macintosh-tablet-2.jpg

Rumour has it that Apple will announce the long-awaited tablet thingie on 27 January, for delivery in March

Rumour also has it that it’s going to be called the iSlate.

They must be very sure of their delivery dates, then.

Or have exceptionally thick marketing people

Posted in People just don't think | Leave a comment

>The other jb

>

J A Bartlett “does weekends and fill-ins on the air at Magic 98, an adult-contemporary station in Madison, Wisconsin”

He’s also the author of the excellent “The Hits Just Keep On Comin” blog and organiser of the Vinyl Record Day blogswarm, honouring me with an invitation for both years, 2007 and 2008

His blog’s much more than music, though.

Just found this gem

A choir and congregation cranking up the classic seasonal hits in a decorated church on Christmas Eve can be enjoyed for purely aesthetic reasons having nothing to do with religion.

But there’s another kind of music that’s largely absent from church services anymore—the music of language. That music began growing fainter 40 years ago, when I was a kid, as the Revised Standard Version and other translations of the Bible began to replace the old-school King James Version

And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

It’s probably not true that Shakespeare was one of the translators who worked on the KJV, but that only means his way with language must have been in England’s air during the early 1600s. And not just devices like rhythm and meter—the word choices are poetic, too. The reference (in an earlier verse not quoted here) to Mary being “great with child” was a word-picture I could understand even before I knew where babies came from, because I could remember how my own mother looked before my youngest brother was born. I also remember being fascinated by the term “swaddling clothes,” and my kid’s mind translated it into a picture of a loving mother wrapping a baby in a big white blanket, as the translators surely intended us to do.

Read on here. It’s worth it.

Posted in Music, Too good to miss | Leave a comment

>How to call the police when you’re old

>

Cousin Ruth sent me this. (And she should know…)

George Hewitson, an elderly man, from Norwich UK, was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he’d left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.

He phoned the police, who asked “Is someone in your house?”

George: “No,” but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me.

Police dispatcher: “All patrols are busy. You should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available.”

George: “Okay.”

He hung up the phone and counted to 30.

George: “Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well you don’t have to worry about them now because I just shot them.”

Within five minutes, six police cars, a SWAT Team, a helicopter, two fire trucks, a paramedic, and an ambulance showed up at the Hewitson’s residence, and caught the burglars red-handed.

Policeman said to George: “I thought you said that you’d shot them!”

George: “I thought you said there was nobody available!”

Posted in Too good to miss | Leave a comment

>Y2.01K

>

Sneaky. Very sneaky.

The world gets all in a tizz as 1999 draws to a close with Doomsday predictions of nucular (sic) power station meltdown and civilisation grinding to a catastrophic halt at midnight when the world’s computers say “”00″. WTF? That’s not a date, that’s a toilet cleaner” and decide to stop working.

But nothing happens.

Ten years later to the day

The Y2.01K bug strikes.

Debit and credit cards issued in Germany stop working.

“Not all of them, not everywhere, just some of them” say the banks

Which is certainly helpful.

Certainly more helpful that my bank.

My bank appears to be blithely unaware of a problem.

  • Nothing on their website (after almost a week)
  • Nothing sensible to be learned from the Call Center flossie (and these are qualified banking staff, not your usual CCMs)
  • Not a lot from my bank consultant (who is tops, btw) who had a tad more information in the form of an internal paper from Head Office (dated yesterday and telling him less than he could read in this morning’s paper…)

In fact, all I learned from the Call Centre was that

  • Other banks’ customers are worse off (Does this really interest me? Hint: No)
  • No, they have no idea if my debit and credit cards are affected.
  • No, there is no way of finding out.
  • No, they have no idea if I can use the cards in Thailand and the USA.
  • Yes, they probably will work, but they might not.
  • I get incredibly annoyed when I’m constantly interrupted when asking questions (Actually, I knew that already)
  • Yes, it might actually be a good idea to put something on the website.
  • I should take €2k in cash and traveller cheques on an upcoming trip
  • No, they have no idea who’s going to compensate me for my increased costs
  • It’s mostly a waste of time talking to Call Centres.

Actually:

They know when the duff batch of chips was manufactured.
They can thus exclude any cards issued before that date.

Having already identified the duff batch of chips,  they know which cards got the chips that don’t know it’s 2010.
So – each card having a number – they can thus identify which customer got a
chronologically-challenged card and issue a new one

And – they can set up a card reader to validate the functionality of the chip.
Distribute it to branches, let customers check their own cards

Programming time?

Maybe a day.

They’ve had 7 already…..

Tagged | 1 Comment

>Kick-start your day

>

Best line: “How was this idea conceived? Well, you might say that it was immaculate”

Posted in Too good to miss | Leave a comment

>The Big Shop

>

IMG_0441.jpg

Not me (goes without saying…) but it’s quite interesting to see what people do buy

5 packets of smokes, lots of sweets and convenience food, carrier bags.

Fruit & veg?
About €6 worth.

And some Speed.

SPEED?
For a mere €1.39?

My dealer’s been ripping me off for years…

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged | Leave a comment

>Please re frame from blame pointing out

>

I’m used to Call Centre monkeys mangling the language

As in

“…but you may want to re frame from logging in heaps whilst out of the country”

But I’d expect more of New York Times White House correspondent, Jeff Zeleny

(President Obama was) “unsatisfied and displeased with this sharing of information”

Er, shouldn’t that be DISsattisfied – “make discontented, fail to satisfy”?

“….some blame pointing out might be coming in the future days”

And THAT sounds like the product of a Google translation from Swahili to English via Hungarian

Tagged | 3 Comments