You Must Be From Away

>There’s a guy in Motueka who has a thing about Morris Minors.

Quite an admirable trait, I’d say.

My fondness for them might have a bit to do with the fact that the pre-production lines in Cowley were running at about the time that I appeared on the scene

It has a lot to do with my cousin Ruth’s surviving a massive shunt in one in the early 70s.

But – from what I’ve seen on King Edward Street – I can’t imagine that there are many specimens roaming in the wild in the Top of the South.

“I see you’re trying to corner the market” I said

“Whaddya mean – trying” he replied

>

Auckland Airport had its second evacuation in two days this morning.

It was unclear why the alarm went off.

The spokeswoman said alarms going off were not surprising as the airport was a busy place.

OK, so let’s work this out then …Auckland has around 10m passengers a year

Frankfurt has around 50m passengers a year.

Five times busier.

So if alarms are a function of passenger numbers, Frankfurt would be evacuated 5 times a day?

And Atlanta (80m a year) 8 times a day….?

I don’t think so, dearie……

>
Not A Woman Of Few Words has this link to New Zealand’s low tech answer to traffic management.

The Americans, of course, take it to extremes….

And I know someone who’d go for that. In a big way.

>David Hockney – Portrait of an Artist (Pool with Two Figures)

JB – The pool at the Getty Villa in Malibu last week

Why does Ian Dury spring to mind when I look at this picture….. ?

And – while we’re rambling – I bet you haven’t heard about his park bench.

>“Would you like to go to Mac’s?” she asks

I don’t need asking twice – I’m in her slipstream in no time.

Thinks: I didn’t know that they have a brewery on Trafalgar Street

But Pavlovian salivation kicks in and I’m looking forward to blowing the froth off a cold one.

Thinks: These girls all look under-age. And why’s the place full of overpriced garments? And why are they looking at me like that? And where’s the bar?

How was I to know the difference between Mac’s and Max?

Will I be more careful in future?
Too right!

>“I’d like 30 stamps for Xmas cards” she says.
“Which denominations?” the clerk asks.
“I don’t see that it’s any of your business, but I guess I’ll have 10 Catholic and 20 Presbyterian…”

This – and more – from Bob Dylan’s Theme Time Radio Hour on XM Radio

What can you expect?
An hour’s worth of wit, profound knowledge and musical eclecticism that you’ve only dreamed about.

Don’t just take my word for it – ask Brandon Stosuy.

Don’t have XM Radio? Me neither.

Do the following:

Go to Expecting Rain
Click on the mp3 link of the show you want. (Right now, he’s up to Show 37)
This takes you to rapidshare.com, a site of dubious legality where you
Click on the “Free” button, wait for 1 minute and then save the mp3 file.
Drag it into iTunes
Then go to Not Dark Yet for the playlist.

Done.

>So we’re at the Richmond Mall, using Orcon’s exceptionally wonderful (i.e. free) WiFi hotspot to Skype with folks on the other side of the world.

This necessitates positioning one’s nose in close proximity to the screen and talking into the integrated microphone – no such thing as a mike jack on Apple’s PowerBooks.

An old lady – observing this for a while with some degree of concern – finally approaches and says….

“I think you need a new pair of glasses, dear”

>First New Zealand…..

Defying talk of global warming, New Zealanders shivered in December, with the capital Wellington recording its coldest start to the southern hemisphere summer for 78 years, according to official figures released Wednesday. The National Climate Centre said that Wellington’s average temperature was 12.9 Celsius, 2.4 degrees below normal and the lowest since records began in 1928. Snow fell this week on Mount Ruapehu, an active volcano and the North Island’s highest peak at 2,797-metres, and the temperature in Wellington hovered Tuesday around 11 Celsius, about the same as European cities now in the depths of winter.

then Los Angeles…..
A cold snap across southern and central California that saw the thermometer dip to 36 degrees Fahrenheit in Los Angeles — a 75-year low for the second-largest U.S. city

— and then Germany

Uprooted trees, blocked roads, canceled trains and general chaos – on Thursday night a storm raged over Germany, causing damage throughout the country and costing at least 10 people their lives. With winds of 202 km/h measured in Bavaria this was the strongest storm seen since 1999

You’d think I’d shot a bloody albatross or something…….

Bugger this.

>
Manhattan Beach, which is an ex-funky, now very yuppy beach-front place just south of LAX, has a gem of a wine shop.

Instead of blinding you with regions, varietals or arbitrary categories, they just say:

Crisp – Smooth – Rich – Bubbly – Fruity – Bold – Mellow – Nectar

No wonder they call it “Wine made simple”

But I looked in vain for the “Yech” category.

There must be one – the Wall Street Journal tested 70 under-$20 chardonnays and had 64 of them in the “OK” and “Yech” zones.

They said…….

If we had to sum up the taste, overall, of inexpensive American Chardonnay today, we’d say the single most notable smell and flavor is pineapple, with syrupy sweetness, some acetate or nail-polish remover, far too much alcohol and a bizarre overlay of un-integrated acidity, as though a big sack of industrial-strength acid mixture had been dumped into the tank at the last minute to compensate for the lack of natural acidity (which gives wines life and makes them food-friendly).

If none of that sounds very attractive, well, yep, that’s right.

I think I’ll stick to beer……

>Ponsonby people are just so friendly

I’m walking down Ponsonby Road, wearing my cool (I think so, anyway) black Hirschhorn Museum T-shirt.

This guy coming the other way smiles and I think “Might be an old school mate or someone who works in a record store”

Quick brain scan – not a flicker.

Keeps smiling, raises his arm from the elbow, palm outwards.

“Heil Hitler” he said.

I thought I might have qualified for the full arm-straight-from-the-shoulder-at-45-degrees with-fingertips-stretched ceremonial version.

I’m a little disappointed at that.

And he didn’t even click his heels either……