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And then there's the Wall of Thorns.

The water in Bad Kreuznach is ascribed magic properties, which might be good PR by the City Fathers who are onto a nice little moneyspinner, or it might actually be true.

What isn't disputed , though, is that the springs around here have a saline concentration that made it commercially viable to produce common salt here in the late 19th and early 20th centuries.

So instead of sending people to the North Sea to experience the bracing maritime air and supercharge the lungs, why not recreate the same (SAME…..?) environment here.

In the middle of the woods?

What you do is build a sodding great wooden wall, stuff it with thorny bits from trees that you've chopped down and then trickle water down it.

Then you pump the water up to the top ad infinitum and the people will gather around and breath the salt-laden air, hold seashells to their ears and think that they're on the beach.

What you DON'T want to do is look too closely at the water gathered at the bottom, waiting to be recycled vertically.

Not a good idea.

"Murky" doesn't even BEGIN to describe it.

I think I feel a severe case of Legionnaires' Disease coming on…..