>Don’t ask me…..(about public transport)


I’ve been quite impressed with myself lately.

Getting around on Christoph’s bike and walking 5km every couple of days.

Doing the Bionic Leg wonders and keeping the weight in check.

And using public transport.

Quite a pleasant experience mostly, but they don’t always make it easy.

Wanted to take the train into the airport the other day.

Something holding up the power cables had given way and the next train through ripped down a couple of hundred metres worth of wire.
16 hours later, they still hadn’t fixed it, but buses were on offer….

Last Sunday, some “tired of life” joker decided to stage his grand finale on the bridge over the tracks next to the main station.

Buses were on offer….

Today was the best, though.

Train to Koblenz from the airport stops just before it crosses the Rhine into Mainz and we’re informed that we’re not actually going to stop in Mainz, because the line’s blocked.

“What we’ll do” says The Voice “is drop you off in Mombach and from there you can make your way back to Mainz”

Duly in Mombach (which is about the shittiest little suburb in Mainz, with a station that wouldn’t be out of place in Siberia), A Voice says:

“Chwang wang wang Platform 2 chwang wang wang Mainz chwang wang wang”

The Voice also says:

“Chwang wang wang Platform 1 chwang wang wang Saarbrücken chwang wang wang”

Unfortunately, the train on Platform 1 arrives first and there might – just might – have been a couple of people on the train to Koblenz who wanted to change trains in Mainz for Saarbrücken.

But not twenty people, who flocked lemming-like in the direction of Platform 1 and disappear into the cavernous interior of the Regional Express, non-stop to Saarbrücken.

200km distant.

Who then – dismayed – peer out of the window as the train for Mainz arrives on Platform 2, onto which a sniggering horde, pointing to the train on Platform 1, clambers.

And no sooner have they sat down will they hear the familiar:

“Tickets please. Ah, you only have a ticket as far as Mainz. That’ll be a penalty fare of €80, thank you”

“But, but, but…”

“I’m very sorry, but you know the rules…”

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