Can’t have a real Christmas tree. Pine needles are hazardous.
Can’t have tinsel. Dangerous.
Can’t have sprinkles on cupcakes. Poisonous.
The Chief Executive of Health and Safety said on Sky TV:
“I’ve a real Christmas tree in my office, everyone has tinsel draped over their computers and if sprinkles are food quality, of COURSE you can use them”
In other words: BOLLOCKS to you jobsworths