…I’ll rip off his balls and feed them to the dogs”

More than a couple of years back, we came across a hamlet by the name of Sivergues in the Vaucluse. 2 houses, a letterbox and an abandoned VW bus with a washing line strung between it and a tree. On it: one of the best t-shirts I’ve ever seen.

“Cinema is art. TV’s a piece of furniture”

Price tag of €20, no-one to be seen to take my money, knocking on doors and hollering didn’t rouse anyone from their slumbers, so on we marched.

Didn’t give up, though. Found a website, wrote to an email address, got a reply and Google Translate got us as far as money exchanging hands via PayPal and extracting the promise to send one as soon as XL was back in stock.

Sent a reminder. Or 2. Or 3. Or 4. Either no reply or “we’re working on it” until the deadline for resolution claims at PayPal had passed.

I was seething.

This bastard was going to suffer.

Fast forward to today.

Back in the Vaucluse, Ms jb in consumer mode, wandering down the main drag in Bonnieux with money in both hands, looking for a window to throw it out of when….. “Hey, here’s your t-shirt”
A shop selling movie memorabilia and….my t-shirt.

I was in there quicker than a rat up a drainpipe.

Briefly outlined his (and that of his knackers) immediate future and politely inquired as to availability of ce t-shirt la en XL.

I’m not sure whether it was my exquisite French that did the trick.

Either that, or the way I casually picked my teeth with the blade of my Opinel #10…..