Author Archives: jb

>Kreuznach has a wonderful park called the Roseninsel (Rose Island) which used to be an island before they filled in part of the river in 1900 and which gets its name from the Rose Growers’ Exhibition held there in 1905. … Continue reading →

>I imagine that life without painkillers during the first couple of weeks after they fitted the Bionic Leg would have been decidedly unpleasant. (When they halved the dosage on Day 8, it cut my time on the racetrack from 34 … Continue reading →

> Given the nature of the asylum, it's festooned with grab-handles, emergency bell-pulls and panic buttons for those 'Oooooops' moments. Something you DON'T want to do,though, is to bump this button with your head (or elbow or whatever) in the … Continue reading →

>One of the nurses on 5B got reminiscing about working nightshift on Rosenmontag, the culmination of the Karneval season. ‘What really pissed me off’ she said ‘was the way the parents would turn up and mollycoddle these semi-comatose kids who … Continue reading →

> In she charged, syringe at the ready at FIVE O'CLOCK IN THE BLOODY MORNING! Sod this for a game of soldiers. This is the rat poison that's supposed to stop you from getting DVT and it's whacked into the … Continue reading →

> Here at the Asylum, they have novel ways of keeping the inmates occupied. Making lanterns out of paper and cellophane. Decorating candles with bambis, angels and glittery stuff Make your very own teddy bear in 3 easy lessons. Probably … Continue reading →

>Escaped from the Asylum for the weekend (it’s Whitsun over here and tomorrow being a holiday, the sadists also get a couple of days off. Not that they deserve it, of course) and the first person who came charging down … Continue reading →

> My mate, Frank the Potter, descended on his mountain bike from the depths of the Hünsruck hinterlands the other day to inspect the Bionic Leg and incent me in joining him in sampling the delights of the fleshpots of … Continue reading →