Looking for a snazzy rotary peeler from JosephJoseph in a cookery store in Mainz.
Ask someone who looks as if they could be in charge whether they stock the JosephJoseph line.
“No”
Not “We don’t, but maybe I can help you find an alternative”
Not “What is it that you’re looking for? Maybe we can get it for you”
Just “No”
Which is the same as telling me to fuck off.
Which is what I did….
The bartender says “We don’t serve bacteria”
Bacteria says “But we work here – we’re staph…”
A girl who weighed many an oz.
Used language I dare not pronoz.
For a fellow unkind
Pulled her chair out behind
Just to see (so he said) if she’d boz.
There once was a young cow named Zephyr.
She seemed quite an amiable hephyr.
But the farmer came near
And she kicked off his ear,
Which made him considerably dephyr.
A guy asked two jays at St. Louis
What kind of an Indian the Souis.
They said “We’re no en-
Cyclopaedia, by hen!”
Said the guy: “If you fellows St. Whouis?”
A bright little maid in St. Thomas
Discovered a suit of pajhomas.
Said the maiden: “Well, well!
What they are I can’t tell,
But I’m sure that these garments St. Mhomas.”
If you’re sharing a pizza with another person, there’s no need to cut it into precisely equal slices.
Make four cuts at equal angles through an arbitrary point (that may not lie on the circumference) and take alternate slices. You’ll both get the same amount of pizza.
This is how you find stuff.
Try and find an image of Uta Minnich, a ceramicist from Bendorf, for an artist portrait for the interwebs presence of the ceramics market in Alzey that I help run.
Stumble over her husband’s website – Jan Schröder, an artist in his own right.
Check out his links.
Find Jürgen Lecher.
What a treat.
..so difficult to buy more memory for my iMac?
Go to MediaMarkt (where I bought it).
The guy knows what he’s talking about, but doesn’t have any in stock and can’t place an order.
Which he finds as strange as I do.
Suggests I check their sister company, Saturn.
First Saturn store.
The sales clerk asks me what “kind of memory” upgrade I want – “RAM or……?”
Fairly obviously RAM, in fact “1333 MHz DDR3 4GB times 2 please”
“Don’t have those” (without looking)
Order some?
“Well, the price goes up and down”
So does the price of petrol, but that doesn’t mean I just park the car and walk, right?
Blank look, which I take to mean “not a chance”
Second Saturn store
“Well., it depends on the model”
iMac 3.2GHz Intel Core i3 27-inch with 4GB
“Eeny, meeny, miny, moe – this one”
Wrong. It’s too big
Silence.
Can’t find out?
“No”
Crucial.com
Select manufacturer
Select product line
Select model
€50, free shipping, here in a couple of days.
And why does Apple charge €200 qwhen you configure a new machine, anyway?
And charge you DOUBLE when you order from the Apple Store….?
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You Must Be From Away 
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