I used to live there and visit the place fairly frequently (and I KNOW it’s the “Daily Express”), but dimness of this magnitude never ceases to amaze me.
Listen.
Grit is small chips of granite or similar rock. It melts at around 126o Celcius. Cold does nothing to it. If you put grit on your walkway, it gives your shoes grip and you can walk on frozen snow with ease.
Even at -20 Celcius
Salt works in the single digit minus range.
Salt is not grit.
Bloody hell….
So you’re a sick senior citizen and the government says that there’s no nursing home available for you – what do you do?
Senior Health Care Solution
Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets.
You are allowed to shoot 2 MPs and 2 illegal immigrants!
Of course, this means you will be sent to prison
where you will get
New teeth? – No problem.
Need glasses? – Great.
New hip, knees, kidney, lungs, heart?
All covered.
(And your kids can come and visit you as often as they do now).
And who will be paying for all of this?
The same government that just told you that you they cannot afford for you to go into a home.
Plus, because you are a prisoner, you don’t have to pay income tax any more.
IS THIS A GREAT COUNTRY OR WHAT?
Actor David Kossoff, Paul Kossoff’s father, talks about his son (in the third person) and acts his behaviour in the late stages of heroin addiction to a group of schoolchildren in 1992.
I have no understanding of how he managed to get through Part 5
Harrowing.
Apple, in it’s infinite wisdom, won’t allow the copying of text in its 11.0 iteration of iTunes.
This’ll have to do until I get it sorted. No tags, though…
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One of the more erudite YouTube comments:
wtf this nigga talking about. Just throwing whiskey and shit.
but this is the coolest thing I’ve seen in a while.
Talking to an entertainment reporter the other day who seems to spend his life chatting with stars of the silver screen, among others Hilary Swank.
“Oh” I said “Hilary and I are real close”
“Tell me” he said”
“Well, I wouldn’t say REAL close, but close. You know? Close. OK, “close” in the sense of knowing her real well, well maybe not REAL well, but we’re definitely FRIENDS. But – you know – “friend” is such an overworked word these days, you can be someones friend with a mouseclick. But definitely more than just a PASSING acquaintance – if we met her RIGHT NOW, she’d probably say “Hey, I remember you – we met in the Blue Plate on Montana in Santa Monica in March” Then again she might not, because I was facing the wall so that Ms YMBFA could have a gander at all the people in the place and then she says “Don’t look now, but there’s that actress… what’s her name…oh, she’s leaving”
“Hilary Swank” I said as she walked past. Didn’t get a good look at at her, but she’s got a very nice bum. Recognise it anywhere…
Mind you, I DID sit next to Daliah Lavi on a flight from London to Frankfurt once…. Not that I knew who she was, of course…”
You Must Be From Away 
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