At 6am one Friday morning, you think that there are 7 steps down to the living room, but in fact there are 8.

End up on the the floor with a lump the size of a grapefruit on the outside of your ankle and, boy, does it hurt.

Get driven to Casualty/ER at the University Clinic where you’re assessed and get seen by a doctor within about an hour.

X-rays, back to the doctor who diagnoses a Weber Type A fracture of the ankle in 2 places, here are some crutches (copayment: €5), don’t put any weight on it for 2 weeks, light weight for 2 weeks and then start learning to walk again, here are 3 anticoagulant injections to tide you over the weekend, go and see your GP on Monday, have some thrombosis blood tests,  get an appointment with an orthopaedic consultant and in the meantime elevate, rest and cool.

It’s now 8;30am

Monday.

Get a same day appointment with a really good surgeon consultant, here’s a prescription for an ankle brace, come back on Friday to fit it if the swelling’s gone down enough, otherwise we’ll do an MRI.

Get measured for an ankle brace (co-payment: €35), pick it up on Thursday.

GP’s up 3 flights of stairs, which is not exactly an option

Other family members are with another GP, no stairs.

Get a same day appointment, get there early, get slotted in earlier, they fill the prescription, appointment for blood tests on Friday.

Friday

Blood test at 8am, consultant surgeon at 10, swelling’s not gone down, might be a damaged ligament (if which case we’ll need to operate), MRI please.

MRI clinic at 11.

Appointment Monday , but hang on, I’ll see if they can slot you in today.

They can, but at their sister clinic on the other side of town.

Finished by 12:30 (MRI and consultation with the physician, who says, no, ligaments are fine, no operation necessary, it’s all good)

Appointment to get the ankle brace fitted by the surgeon consultant on Tuesday. (He would have done it on Monday, but he’s in theatre all day.)

This will cost you 8.5% (matched by your employer) of your gross salary per month, capped at €350.

If you’re the sole earner, it covers spouse and offspring

Pinch me.

I must be dreaming……