You’ve all heard of Smokie, right?

Smokie, the band that backed Peter Noone (of Hermann’s Hermits fame) in the early 70’s and who – if there were any justice in the world – should have sunk without trace?

Smokie, the band that churned out such Chinnichap classics as “Lay back in the arms of someone” (retch, vomit) and “Living next door to Alice”?

No?
Then you probably live in the States and were lucky enough not to have been exposed to lethal doses of them.

They’re still around – you can’t go to a beerfest without either them or the Rubettes or the Tremellos or some other geriatric crew lip-synching to a bunch of obscure sing-along ditties.

But the Gompie Cafe in Nijmegen in the Netherlands had another idea.

The story’s here

It was the sort of song that played at every party, every disco, every football stadium and mainstream radio played it to death.

Content warning? Offensive lyrics? Over here? National radio regularly plays Zappa’s “Bobbie Brown” and no-one complains to the protectors of public morals….

So here – for your listening pleasure and amusement – is

Who the * is Alice? – Gompie