…..in the year of our Lord MMVII that Moguntium V was cast out into the wilderness of the Divisionum Secundus.
And there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth and the wearing of sackcloth and ashes.
And many of the gladiators did pack their meagre belongings into their Ferrari 599 GTB Fioranos and leave Moguntium for the greener fields elsewhere in Divisionum Primus and the populus was fearful of great hardship and pestilence.
Especially since Emperor Beutelus had laden them grievously with taxes for a new Coliseum in Moguntium Finthenii or nearabouts.
But, lo, the Prophet Kloppo did rise up and proclaim with blazing eyes and flowing mane of golden hair and sparkling teeth of white.
“I shall not abandon thee. (At least not until the end of my current contract).”
“They that heedeth me shall not perish or kick around in Divisionum Secundus for more than 12 new moons, but shall be protected from the onslaught of the heathen tribes of Greuter Fürth and the Kickärs Offebachium and I and my faithful band of gladiators (who were anyway under contract and no-one wanted in the first place) shall part the waters of the Zonus Promotious and lead thee back into the bountiful fields of Divisionum Primus strewn with coins of gold and silver and precious jewels where we shall rise forthwith to the summit of glory and rightfully claim our trophy as the champions of the Populus Ligus in MMIX”
And Fabianus Gerberus – never the sharpest knife in the drawer – sayeth ” Duh?” with vacant glance and a bolt of lightning from the heavens did strike him down.
And the long-suffering punters of the Tribunus Telco did shout with jubilation and were not saddened, but cried ” Malus passus not more. Get thee forth and do not multiply and don’t even think of coming back, you Depp” and were joyful.
And Senator Christianus Heidelus was also joyful and well pleased, because the denare tranferius was bountiful from the sale of the legionnaires Zidanius and Friedrichus.
But Presidentus Strutzius did weep bitter tears of anguish and was grieven.
And the Prophet Kloppo saith ” Come Haraldus, thou shalt not weep. There’s always next year. And we both live in Gonso. Not the worst place in the world, eh? Nice villa right next to the Wildpark? Quadrifoglio just around the corner? Could be worse. We could be living in Wiesbaden”
And the heavenly choir of cherubims and seraphims and what-have-yous did sing “Hold your head up“
And Strutzius did see truth in the words of the Prophet Kloppo and was joyous to hear Rod Argent again after all these years and did dry his tears and wept no longer.
But he still wasn’t very happy.