That nice Mr Key
He do hate that Union Jack
Yeah that nice Mr Key
He just loath that Union Jack
Goes for tea with the Queen
Ain’t never getting invited back

Jenny Shipley
she do hate that colonial flag
But Jenny she a Dame
And she do like that tag
Can’t hate the flag and be a Dame
Ain’t no truth in THAT game

That nice Mr Key
He do love that silver fern
That nice Mr Key
You think he’d never learn
He ain’t no All Black
He just a political hack

Richie wear that silver fern
Dan Carter wear it too
Look real good on an All Black jersey
And on a tea towel too
My tea towel dries them dishes
My tea towel shines that glass
Turn that tea towel into a flag, honey
Baby, you can kiss my ass