>12 days of Christmas – #9

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Miss Agnes McHolstein
69 Cash Avenue
Beaver Valley
Colorado

22 December 1975

Hey Shithead
What are you?  Some kind of sadist?  Now there’s nine pipers playing.  And Christ, do they play.  They’ve never stopped chasing those maids since they got here yesterday morning.  The cows are getting upset and they’re stepping all over those screeching birds.  What am I going to do?  They neighbours hve stared a petition to evict me.

You’ll get yours,
Agnes

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>Only the Irish

>

From the Aer Lingus website:

Check-in Information
Passengers must check-in prior to the scheduled departure time

This is such a BFO, but I guess when you’re dealing with the Irish….

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>12 days of Christmas – #8

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Miss Agnes McHolstein
69 Cash Avenue
Beaver Valley
Colorado

21 December 1975

OK Buster
I think I prefer the birds.  What the hell am I going to do with eight maids a-milking?  It’s not enough with all those birds and eight maids a-milking, but they had to bring their God damned cows.  There’s shit all over the lawn, and I can’t move in my own house.  Just lay off me, smartass.

Agnes

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>Eh?

>I thought it was Boeing showing a touch of irony, but they’re talking about the 737.
Not the 787.
(A mere 2 years behind schedule…)


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>12 days of Christmas – #7

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Miss Agnes McHolstein
69 Cash Avenue
Beaver Valley
Colorado

20 December 1975

John
What’s with you and those fucking birds???  Seven swans a-swimming.  What kind of God damned joke is this?  There’s bird shit all over the house and they never stop with the racket.  I can’t sleep at night and I’m a nervous wreck.  It’s not funny, so stop with those fucking birds.

Sincerely,
Agnes

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>12 days of Christmas – #6

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Miss Agnes McHolstein
69 Cash Avenue
Beaver Valley
Colorado

19 December 1975

Dear John
When I opened the door there were actually six geese a-laying on my front steps.  So you’re back to the birds again, huh?  Those geese are huge.  Where will I ever keep them?  The neighbours are complaining, and I can’t sleep through the racket.
Please stop.
Cordially
Agnes

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>Does this mean….

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……that they GIVE me the laptop AND €500 as well?

No, I didn’t think so either…..

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>This is the life

>Afternoon tea. Half a dozen huitres and a glass of Vernatsch


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>Peace on earth…

>and goodwill to all mankind is all very well, but it doesn’t stretch to the womenkind of the family who are 30 minutes overdue from “I’m just having a look” expedition in -3 Celcius temperatures

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>12 days of Christmas – #5

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Miss Agnes McHolstein
69 Cash Avenue
Beaver Valley
Colorado

18 December 1975

Dearest John

What a surprise!  Today the postman delivered five golden rings, one for every finger.  You’re just impossible, but I love it.  Frankly, all those birds squawking were beginning to get on my nerves.

All my love
Agnes

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