>Don’t ask me (about Fred Dagg) – #2

>Essential knowledge

A “dag” is – as Wikipedia so tenderly points out…”wool on a sheep’s rear contaminated with mud and fæcal matter”

And I always thought it was the shitty bits of wool around a sheep’s bum……

Live and learn.

When dry, they click together when the sheep runs, hence the expression “Rattle yer dags” – Tell the rest of the family to get a move on.

A “dag” is also a character.
As in “He put a mouse in his girlfriend’s handbag. He’s a bit of a dag, that bloke”

Fred Dagg is the character created by satirist John Clarke – the prototypical black-singletted, gum-booted New Zealand dairy farmer. His monologues – and folk songs – are firmly entrenched in New Zealand urban culture.

Solar energy
Star of Wonder

We don’t no how lucky we are” – in its original version – has been expunged from the catalog by the PC police.
I think it was the penultimate verse that did it…..

A reviewer noted: “This song doesn’t have much of a tune to it, and since it is generally sung when everybody is drunk, the tune doesn’t really matter”
I was speaking to a mate of mine
just the other day

A guy called Bruce Bayliss actually
lives up our way
He’s been living in
for the year, more or less

I said “How was Europe, Bruce?”
He says “Fred, it’s a mess”

We don't know how lucky we are, mate
We don't know how lucky we are,

I was down
the Plough and Chequebook,
the night before last
There's a guy down there on the floor
with his brain at half-mast
I said "You're looking really bad mate
your eyes look like strings"
He says "Get me an eight will you please Fred
I can't see a thing"


Me stock agent’s got a beach place
where he spends most of his days
His wife bit the dust down there last year
got eaten by a couple of crays
And his two littlest daughters
got killed by a whale
I said “Are you going down there this year mate?”
He says “Fred, right on the nail”


Me father-in-law’s been feeling
pretty pleased with himself:
He’s been living in Greece
for the good of his health.
I said, “How was the climate?
And how was your year?”
He says, “The climate’s too hot,
you can’t get a beer,
The sheilas look like blokes, and of course
the blokes are all queer,
and if you want a really good time,
you might as well live here.”


So if things are looking really bad
you’re thinking of givin’ it away
Remember New Zealand’s a cracker
and I reckon come what may
If things get appallingly bad
and we all get atrociously poor
If we stand in the queue with our hats on
we can borrow a few million more.


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4 Responses to >Don’t ask me (about Fred Dagg) – #2

  1. >We came to NZ just a bit late for Fred or Lyn of Tawa, so if it weren’t for you, we would have never known! He did a great series spoofing the preparations for the Sydney Olympics, too – did you see it? TVNZ showed it at strange hours and in bits and pieces so we never got the full series (or two) but what little we did see was fabulous.

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  4. >And we pinched him:-)sorry

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