>True stories – Customer Support

>

“Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?”

“Yes, well, I’m having trouble with WordPerfect.”

“What sort of trouble?”

“Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.”

“Went away?”

“They disappeared”.

“hmmm. So what does your screen look like now?”

“Nothing.”

“Nothing?”

 “It’s blank; it won’t accept anything when I type.”

 “Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?”

“How do I tell?”

“Can you see the C:\ prompt on the screen?”

“What’s the sea-prompt?”

“Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?”

“There isn’t any cursor; I told you, it won’t accept anything I type.”

“Does your monitor have a power indicator?”

“What’s a monitor?”

“It’s the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it has a little light that tells you when it’s on?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it.  Can you see that?”

…..”Yes, I think so.”

“Great!  Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it’s plugged
into the wall.”

…..”Yes, it is.”

“When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?”

“No.”

“Well, there are.  I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.”

…..”Okay, here it is.”

“Follow it for me, and tell me if it’s plugged securely into the back of your computer.”

“I can’t reach.”

“Uh Huh.  Well can you see if it is?”

“No.”

“Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?”

“Oh, it’s not because I don’t have the right angle; it’s because it’s dark.”

“Dark?”

“Yes-the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.”

“Well, turn on the office light then.”

“I can’t.”

“No?  Why not?”

“Because there’s a power outage.”

“A power…A power outage?  Aha!  Okay, we’ve got it licked  now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?”

“Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.”

“Good!  Go get them and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it.  Then take it back to the store you bought it from.”

“Really?  Is it that bad?”

“Yes, I’m afraid it is.”

“Well, all right then, I suppose.  What do I tell them?”

“Tell them you’re too stupid to own a computer.”

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1 Response to >True stories – Customer Support

  1. Jess says:

    >I love the picture you used to illustrate this post! If I can find a bigger version of it, I might use it as my desktop. I often feel like pitching my computer through the nearest window. All I need to do is look at it and the thing seems to break.Still, at least I know that they need electricity to run. I'm not entirely sure that I believe that this story concluded like this but I don't doubt that the call was made. You'd think it was just too contrived but I've got a friend who's a tech and he's normally got a new horror story for me. "Can you download the internet onto this disc for me", "I want to hack into this network" and the rest of it, though one of my favourites is the man who covered up the cooling fan because it made it too chilly. And he wondered why his computer kept shutting down. I do feel sorry for him. A degree in computer science, goodness knows how many CCNA training courses to his name and he ends up with queries like this all the time.

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