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Big globetrotter that I am, once upon a time I was in Kuantan.

The guy who ran the hotel said “That’s good – I can actually understand you”

Eh?

“Yeah” he said “We had another New Zealander staying here who confused the staff totally. She asked for “yigs” for breakfast, as in “have ya got inny yigs?””

“We finally worked out that she wanted EGGS and to this day, the abbreviation that the waitstaff use is “X” for eggs.

So do I.

And then there’s the story of the author, Monica Dickens, at a book-signing in Auckland in the 1960s.

A women walks up with her book and says “Emma Chissit”.

And Monica faithfully writes

“Nah” says the woman “Emma Chissit. ‘Ow much does it COST?”

Not too sure about this place in Albany, though.

Given that they cut hair, it’s a pretty cool name.

Phonetically, at least.

I know exactly what’s happened.

Someone’s come up with “Shearing Shed” as a cool name, the rest of the staff enthuse, the owner (Asian chappy) hasn’t a clue what it all means, but writes it down and gives it to the ad agency.

Done deal.

And then they were talking above “toxic acids” in the business news bit on TV One news.

And I’m thinking “Corrosive, yes. But “toxic”?”

Oh.

Toxic ASSETS…..