>This, I got wrong.

Posted on 25 January, 2009 by jb

>
One in seven jobs in Germany is some way – directly or indirectly – linked to the car industry.

As they say: If BMW gets a sniffle, Bavaria gets the flu”.

The German government – as part of a fairly chunky economic stimulus programme – came up with the idea of pitching in with €2500 if you junk your (more than 9 year old) car and buy a new (low emission, Euro Cat 4) one.
I looked at the numbers (as did a few of the serious newspapers) and figured (along with them) that it was a non-goer.

If you do the math over a 5 year period (capex, factoring in depreciation, repairs etc) you’re way better off keeping your old clunker and running it into the ground.

And I also figured that folks who are driving around in a car that’s worth less than €2500 wouldn’t necessarily be in the core new-car-buyer segment in the first place.

How wrong we all were.

Queues in front of car dealerships didn’t QUITE reach around the block, but not far off and some very happy-looking sales people popped up on the box. Especially if you’re selling Dacias (especially Dacias – €7500 after the rebate…) and anything from Italy, France, Spain or Korea.
This chart pretty much explains it.
If the national household savings rate has averaged 10% over the last 10 years, a lot of folks will have an annual salary tucked away somewhere, just waiting for a rainy day. (And if you think that the USA looks badly off, you haven’t seen the values for the UK. Or Australia)

Now, it’s not actually pouring (yet), but when the Tipping Point kicks in, things take off.

Unless of course you’re trying to sell BMWs, Audis or Mercedes.

Most of their production goes overseas to places like the USA, the UK and Australia.

Where folks don’t appear to have saved even 2 cents to rub together.
Posted in Economics | Leave a comment

>Drugs for Women

Posted on 24 January, 2009 by jb

>

MIRRORCILLIN – A 5cc dose enables a woman to walk past mirrors for up to
four hours without pausing once.

STOPPANAGGIN – Gives women a vague feeling of contentment towards their
spouse/boyfriend.

COSMOPOLIRA – Doubles female intelligence, allowing “facts” in trash
lifestyle magazines to be disputed.

LOGICON – Trials showed that females taking this were able to follow a
proposition through to its logical conclusion, and argue effectively
without being diverted into non-relevant postulates such as “you don’t
love me any more”.

PARKATRON – 72% of women taking this were able to safely reverse park a
Ford Fiesta into a space only 12 metres long; 54% achieved this in under
15 minutes.

MAGNATACK – Uniquely distorts the cornea, making certain shapes appear
much larger than in reality – no practical use for this drug has yet been
found.

WARDROBIA – Clinical trials show that almost 23% of women taking this drug
can safely walk past a sale notice, and an amazing 42% stayed within their
credit limit.

BEERINTULIN – Engenders a female desire to bring her spouse/boyfriend
alcoholic beverages and snacks during televised sports.

Posted in Don't ask me | 3 Comments

>Things I don’t miss…

Posted on 23 January, 2009 by jb

>

..about Microsoft Word.

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>Good night and good riddance

Posted on 20 January, 2009 by jb

>

Has it only been 8 years?

Seems like a lifetime.

Or a nightmare.

Or both.

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>Keeping things on the level

Posted on 18 January, 2009 by jb

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>To each his own

Posted on 15 January, 2009 by jb

>


Suum cuique.

To ta auton prattein kai me polypragmonein dikaiosyne (Plato wasn’t particularly succinct…)

Chacun à son goût.

Jedem das seine.


From all this, you can gather that the saying’s been around for about 2500 years.


And quite a useful saying it is, too.


Unless, of course, you’re a German advertising agency.


Nokia’s ad people used it back in 1998 and got thoroughly bollocked.

Rewe, a supermarket chain, shortly afterwards.



And Esso and Tchibo, a coffee retailer, are currently on the spot, a fate of being hung, drawn and quartered surely just around the corner.


Here’s why:

This is the gate to the Buchenwald concentration camp.

And this is why – if you listen to one segment of the global community – you can’t use the phrase.


I don’t quite see it like that.

This is guilt by association. 

The abuse of a phrase, an object, a concept by an evil regime can’t exclude its future valid use. The corollary in fact applies: a colloquial and established phrase that’s remote from its abused purpose is immune to abuse. 

The fact that this phrase is culturally embedded in most modern languages lends it a high degree of legitimacy.



On the other hand (and there’s always another hand…) just what WERE those advertising people thinking….?

Posted in Don't ask me | 1 Comment

>Milky Way Transit Authority

Posted on 12 January, 2009 by jb

>

The galaxy according to Samuel Arbesman, a postdoctoral fellow at Harvard studying computational sociology.

How cool is that?

Almost as good as Harry Beck’s original, actually

Tagged | 2 Comments

>Don’t ask me… (about fondues)

Posted on 5 January, 2009 by jb

>

From the New Zealand Herald:

A fondue set exploded in a man’s face after he used methylated spirits to try to light it.

Pukehina Volunteer Fire Brigade chief fire officer Errol Watts said it was a timely reminder not to use accelerants in such circumstances.

The man, aged in his 40s, was with family at a house on Pukehina Parade on Saturday when they decided to have fondue.

Mr Watts said they had trouble lighting it so decided to pour on meths.

“But it blew up in his face,” Mr Watts said. “He had burns to his face, head and hands.

“I wouldn’t advise using meths to start a fire.”

Actually, I’m still trying to work out how one would operate a fondue without a methylated spirits–powered rechaud.

A bonfire underneath, perhaps?

In that case, I definitely wouldn’t use meths to start the fire.

Petrol’s a lot more effective…..


Disclaimer: I AM NOT RECOMMENDING USING PETROL AS A FIRE ACCELERANT. (Can’t be too careful…)

Posted in Don't ask me, This is New Zealand | Leave a comment

>If the singular is Carambola….

Posted on 31 December, 2008 by jb

>

…would the plural then be “Carambolage”?

(I think I need a Crash Course in French.)

I’ll get me hat…..

Posted in Don't ask me | Leave a comment

>People just don’t think…#3

Posted on 30 December, 2008 by jb

>

Thorsten Schäfer-Gümbel (the name‘s almost enough to disqualify him..), the socialist party candidate for the premiership of the state of Hesse has an idea:

The financial crisis can be assuaged by forcing anyone with chunks of money to lend 5% of it to the state for 15 years at a nominal rate of interest, “chunks of money” being defined as a personal net financial value in excess of €750,000.

Much baying support from the eat-the-rich crowd.

Not much interest from anyone else.

Not even his own party HQ in Berlin.

Possibly because – apart from being a rather silly idea – TSG hadn’t thought it through.

How on earth are you going to determine someone’s personal net financial value without a MASSIVE bureaucratic overhead.

Being:

Assessing the market value of every property in Germany (no such thing as a realistic rating or property tax value over here), collating the levels of deposits and debt of every suspected rich bugger and adding it all up, this against the deafening background noise of wads of money being shuffled around between trust accounts and family members.

And we want to let these people run the country..?

Posted in Brain farts, People just don't think | Leave a comment